


Love me do

by summerbreeze23



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Gore, Drug Use, Gangs, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mingyu Jun and Joshua are older than the others, Rape/Non-con Elements, Vernon and Dino are brothers, Violence, mafia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:49:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25055710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerbreeze23/pseuds/summerbreeze23
Summary: How to be, how to become. How to live, how to love, how to become someone. How do I tell you, I love you, when there is no I in me.“Can you feel it?”I always knew it would end like this.“You know it’s only for you right? You know that it is still beating because of you?”I just didn’t thought death could have such a sweet kiss.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kim Mingyu/Yoon Jeonghan, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Lee Jihoon | Woozi/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26





	1. Rough, no. Psychologically exhausting, maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~ English is not my first language so forgive me for any mistakes  
> This is an old fic that I have, i thought it would be cool to rewrite it and post it here  
> WARNING: The fic WILL get pretty graphic and touch on some heavy subjects. With that said, the characters do not represent my personal view of any of the members and are there just as a part of the story. I hope you'll be able to enjoy it, I'm already apologizing in advance for the long hiatus in between chapters (づ￣ ³￣)づ

He sits awkwardly in the old couch; the worn-out cushion is starting to bother him as he can feel the steel springs underneath. Maybe he should have thought about saving some money for such inconveniences, but his job can only do so much. His mind wonders back to his room, hoping that at least the mattress wouldn’t cause any more trouble. 

“So, what do you think?” Jeonghan asks as Jun makes his way back to the living room. 

“Do you want the harsh truth or will you let me sprinkle some glitter to my response?” 

“Be sincere.” 

“It’s shit.” Says Joshua as he joins the two. 

Jeonghan sits back crossing his arms. He glances at the wall on the other side of the room, dark marks of mold blending in with the yellow-ish flower pattern of the wallpaper. As he takes another breath the strange smell comes in again, the smell of something wet, old, perhaps forgotten. He shivers as the thought of the old owner haunts him once again. Poor old lady, died all alone during New Year's Eve. 

“It’s not that bad.” Says Jun. “With a bit of cleaning and some sunlight this place could turn into something wonderful.” 

“No, it’s gross.” Joshua sits by his side, arms falling around his shoulders almost instantly. “I think you should look for someplace else.” 

“But this one is so cheap, and a lot closer to school too!” 

Jun gets closer to the two friends. He stands in front of Jeonghan, analyzing carefully his expression. 

“Ok, look, we know you’ve been waiting for this for a long time, and in that I have to agree with Shua, if you really want this to be special maybe we should look for someplace a little less... weird.” 

Jeonghan buries himself deeper between the smelly cushions as he pouts sadly. “You two should know better than anyone how long I’ve been searching for this. I’ve worked my ass off just to get the permission to move out, and I still have to work a lot harder to prove that I can take care of myself!” 

“We know all that.” With a gentle hand Joshua holds his chin up. “We just want the best for you.” 

“That’s bullshit.” 

He quickly stands up, moving away from both of them. 

“You two just had to turn 18. I bet you didn’t think twice before leaving me behind.” 

“You know we would never do such a thing.” Jun steps closer and tries to touch his shoulder. 

“Don’t!” Jeonghan corners himself close by the window. “I’ve known you two little shits for too long to believe that, you hated that place! If it wasn’t for Seokmin I wouldn’t even know you left... Sometimes I wonder if you even want me here.” He says as his voice cracks slightly at the end. 

“Oh, baby...” Joshua stands up and quickly goes to him. “Of course we want you here, we were just worried about you.” 

He cups his face gently, staring lovingly at Jeonghan. 

“Worried about what? I’m a tough guy.” 

“We know you are. But to tell you the truth we were afraid we would lose you.” 

“New school, new friends...” Jun slowly gets closer. “At least at the orphanage we knew you would be safe.” 

As he arrives, Jun hugs Jeonghan from behind, resting his chin in his shoulders. 

“But I want to be with you, you’re the only friends I have.” 

“We know.” 

Jun tilts his head slightly, leaving a quick kiss at his nape. Just as the hug gets a little tighter Joshua pulls his face closer. The air gets heavier very quickly, Jeonghan finds himself getting trapped yet once again. 

“You know we adore you so much.” Joshua whispers softly. 

“stop.” He mumbles. 

Joshua buries in head into Jeonghan’s neck, savoring his perfume. He can feel Jun’s hand moving around his torso, giving him chills by every move. “Humm, what did you say baby?” 

“Stop. Please.” 

As the tension begins to grow that same old feeling returns back to him. He can feel his heart beating heavily and a weird taste comes to his mouth, a sudden urge to throw up. It starts to get hard to breath. 

“I said stop!” 

He pushes Joshua away with all his strength, gaining momentum to throw himself against the wall, making Jun let go of his waist. He backs away from the two, trying to catch his breath. The two friends stare at him annoyingly, waiting for a response. 

“Get out of here.” He demands angrily. 

“We were just playing around, no need to be so mad.” 

“Get out!!” 

Joshua goes calmly to the door, leaving the old apartment with Jun following him close behind. They leave without ever making a sound, their eyes full of rage. Jeonghan shuts the door close, locking it immediately. He drags himself to the couch, lying on his back. 

A water stain in the ceiling holds his attention, a small one, very dark and round. He just knows it will get bigger when the rainy days come, until one day a hole is made. He sighs deeply. 

‘Why do I always let this happen...’ 

**~~ ~~ **

He stands still, letting the wind blow his face gently as he takes in the world in front of him. The school is different than what he had imagined previously, Jun and Joshua had already told him about the situation of the neighborhood but still, in his head it looked a bit more... alive. 

“So, are you sure this is it?” 

“Yes.” He says bluntly. 

“Look, I know we already been through this, but...” The personal adviser rubs his nape, his voice filled with uncertainty. “I can still arrange another transfer, we can find a better school in no time.” 

Jeonghan ignores him, making his way to the entrance. Everything is gray, the colors of the walls, the trees, the uniform, even the expressions of the other students. It all feels so odd, lifeless, in the way that drains you. Nothing much is happening, you can just feel the tiredness, and, at the same time, fear. How curious. 

“How about you go have a look around while I talk to the principal, maybe make some friends.” 

“I don’t need new friends. I have enough already.” 

“Those two boys? Aren’t they too old for you?” 

“Oh great, now you wanna interfere in my personal life too?” He looks around, searching for any weird looks at his direction. Seems like everyone is already used to people like him. 

“I just thought that maybe you should look for someone better, they’re not exactly the best influence for you.” 

He stops in his tracks, turning quickly to face the man. 

“Who the hell do you think you are?” His voice raises while he shamelessly points his finger to the man’s face. “This is not your fucking business. Get a life!” 

The personal adviser takes a step back, startled. He and Jeonghan didn’t have quite a loving relationship, heck, he doesn’t know if they even have anything. The boy always seemed distant, refusing to talk during most of their meetings. If a conversation was to be started it would always and up like that. He found that to be pretty odd, as the other social workers only talked nice things about him. 

“Sorry. I will go now.” 

Jeonghan stands silent, watching the older man as he slowly disappears in the crowd of students. The wind gets stronger, making a mess out of his tightly secure ponytail. He decides to enter the building. The place is small, filled with narrow long corridors. It’s pretty crowded too, lots of older kids, at least something he was expecting. 

There’s a group of girls leaning against the lockers, they’re different from the others, wearing long skirts and red lipstick, leaving marks on their cigarettes. Not too far from them there is another group of standout kids, all wearing black head to toe. From time to time they spit in whoever is walking by. 

Making his way into the courtyard something far more interesting catches his eye. There is a big group of students gathered around something, they’re shouting names, acting like animals. He gets closer, sneaking around everyone till he gets right in front of the scene. 

There are four guys against one, throwing him around like a ball. The poor boy has blood all over his face and clothes, he looks dizzy, barely standing. They stop playing with him when one of the boys holds him by the shoulder, allowing the blonde one to throw punches in his stomach. He yells in pain as the other students cheer. 

Jeonghan hold tightly to his shirt, frightened by what he sees. When Jun and Joshua warned him that their school was not for everyone, they were not lying. The boy looks at him for a split second, trying to move his lips as if asking for help. He shivers, silently wishing for the fight to end. 

The blond boy with fists covered in red holds him high by the collar. 

“How do you like that now?” He laughs. “Do you still think it’s funny to prank us?” 

The boy swings himself desperately as someone else joins them. His presence makes everyone turn silent, anxiously waiting for what he has to say. The boy is dropped to the ground, the blond guy seems hesitant, there’s fear in his eyes. 

“That’s enough.” His voice is low, powerful, matching the look in his face. “Just end this already.” 

He passes them a baseball bat, making the blond guy grin from ear to ear. He wastes no time, taking down the boy with one hit by the head. The joy of the crowd seems to be gone, too scared to say anything. One by one the students start leaving, their fun is long gone. Jeonghan stands frozen, watching as the boys keep on mocking the scrawny figure lying on the ground. 

He looks up, catching the black-haired boy stare at him with his cold, dark eyes. He quickly cuts eye contact, walking away from the scene as fast as he can. 

**~~~~**

“Rough day?” The woman carefully places his order on the table. Just as he likes it, a warm bowl of ramen at the end of the day. The steam fills his nostrils, it’s the kind of smell that brings you back to earth, reminding you of one of the wonders of the world: food. 

“Rough, no. Psychologically exhausting, maybe.” 

The waitress soon leaves, letting Jeonghan enjoy his food in peace. The small establishment has been his favorite since he moved to the apartment around a week ago. He has always been kinda lonely, and now that he lives all by himself things got a little harder than he thought. Being able to have his favorite dish has given him just the right amount of warmth he needed to keep going. 

He eats in silence, enjoying the calmness of the moment. From time to time it is possible to hear the horn of cars passing by on the street, as well as the delicious sound of food being prepared and the banging of pots and pans. It almost feels like home. But soon enough noise reappears as a group of boys enters the place. 

He tries to be subtle, looking at them by the corner of his eye. It’s the group he saw earlier in school, the same one that knocked down a boy. They’re not wearing the uniform anymore but their clothes still look very similar, as if fallowing a pattern. They are relaxed, happy even, making nonstop jokes with one another. Just as he was starting to lose himself in thoughts a dark figure walks over, taking a seat in front of him. Jeonghan moves in his seat, eyes glued to the bowl and shoulders tense, afraid to look up and find that same pair of eyes. 

He goes back to eating his ramen, trying to ignore the presence in front of him. He can see his fingers twirling around the table, there seems to be some kind of burgundy colored dirt under his nails. There must be a reason why he chose to sit there, maybe there was no seat left, even though, as he recalls, he was the only one there a couple of minutes ago. Suddenly another pair of chopsticks enters his camp of vision, going right under his chin and lifting his head up. 

“So, were you planning on just ignoring me?” His expression is ratter different in comparison to their previous encounter, it’s softer. He does look quite handsome, having those big brown eyes, messy black hair and gentle gestures. Jeonghan shakes off the thought, realizing he’s making a fool of himself sitting there like a statue. 

“I-I wasn’t.” 

“God you look so cute right now.” There is a smile in the corner of his lips. “Don’t worry, I don’t mind it. Smart move if you ask me.” 

There is something about him he can’t quite put a finger on. He doesn’t look like the same person who had total control over a crowd with just his presence, that now could easily be mistaken for any other guy he has ever dated. Oh, what a dangerous thought to have. 

“Hey, can I have some?” The boy comes closer, stealing some of his ramen. Still, Jeonghan is left dumbfounded, trying to make sense of their weird little interaction. He has so many questions, not even sure if he really wants to know the answers. 

“Why did you seat here? I mean, weren’t you supposed to be with...” 

“With them? Yes. But I just couldn’t help myself. You’re really pretty.” 

The black-haired boy rests his chin on his hand, staring longingly at Jeonghan. He can feel his face starting to burn, immediately turning away from his gaze. 

“Oh, I just realized I haven’t introduced myself yet. I’m Seungcheol. And what would your name be?” 

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“Of course it does!” He says with a big smile. Jeonghan remains quiet, not so sure if he should trust the boy or not. “Well, if you won’t say it then I’m gonna start calling you angel from now on.” 

The waitress comes back again, putting on the table various plates of food and many bottles of soju. She leaves with one eyebrow up and a smirk on her face. Jeonghan doesn’t know where to look, losing himself within the questions on his head. 

“What is this?” He asks worried. 

“It’s for you, to cheer you up a little.” 

“I can’t pay for all of this!” Seungcheol laughs at his distress, happy to finally be able to get a reaction from him. 

“It’s on me, just enjoy it. If you don’t want the soju I’ll have it!” He grabs the two cups and fills them up with the drink, handing them to Jeonghan. He looks at it in so much pain, wanting so badly to just let it all go. Ever since he turned 15 the other kids started inviting him to their secret drinking party, every Friday at midnight in the basement under the kitchen. How good it was to feel so grown up, letting the drink burn down his throat while joking around like there was no tomorrow. 

He grabs the cup determined, taking it all in one go. Soon enough that friendly felling comes to greet him again, his eyes getting teary. Seungcheol stares at him satisfied, just waiting to pour him another shot. And before he realizes it becomes 5, then 10, then 15. The food starts disappearing from the table, the boys start leaving one by one, his surroundings gets blurry, and then the only thing left is Seungcheol. Going from one subject to another, laughing a bit more than he should, opening up in just that short period of time, enjoying his company more than he was supposed to. 

“Shit! I just remembered I have work tomorrow.” Jeonghan stands up suddenly, felling gravity pulling him down. Seungcheol follows his move, immediately grabbing his arm for support. “I really gotta go.” 

He stumbles around to the entrance, stopping for a second just to put his mind back in place. There’s no one, not even cars passing by, only the darkness of the night. Seungcheol comes right behind him, not so affected by the alcohol. One look at the street and he can spot a group of people close by the alley, hiding in the shadows. 

“Let me take you home.” He demands. 

“I’m a grown boy, I can do this on my own.” 

“No.” He says harshly, raising his tone. “I am going to take you home.” 

Jeonghan steps back, not sure what to answer. He knows fairly well that there are a couple of things you should never tell anyone you just meet, even more someone like Seungcheol. He can hear the people talking, probably starring at them, but he stays reluctant. Before he can even decide Seungcheol runs inside and grabs his things. He comes back and holds him by the waist, pulling him in to keep the pace. 

“Guide me to your home, I'll keep you safe.” They are very close to one another, Seungcheol’s grip on his waist is tight, pulling him closer and closer. He can’t see much besides the sidewalk and Seungcheol, with a serious expression on his face. He blushes hard, this time not even being able to help it, he just hopes that his already red face will hide his shame. In a couple of minutes they get to his apartment, just waiting a little to see if anyone has been following them. 

“I think we’re good.” Seungcheol smiles at him, proud of himself. 

“Then can you let go of my waist?” He has to bite the inside of his check to stop himself from laughing at Seungcheol and his dazed expression. He quickly backs away, looking down in an embarrassed manner. 

“So, since we go to the same school, see you tomorrow?” 

“I hope not.” Seungcheol smiles, watching as Jeonghan takes the first steps of the stairs. “Oh, one last thing. My name is Jeonghan.” 


	2. No angel

Seungcheol stands quietly in the corner, his eyes scanning the courtyard carefully. Different scenarios keep on playing in his head, he feels excited for the first time in so long. Something in his gut tells him to just throw all those feelings away, there is no space left in his life for something like this. But it continues to grow on him, that same felling of a roller coaster starting, making him worry about his future. 

“Are we just going to sit here all day long?”

“Shut up Chan, you have nothing to do with this.” 

“Oh, you  wanna talk about this again?” The youngest stands up from the bench, ready to fight, like always. “From what I recall I was here long before you even left China.” 

“Of course, say thank you to Hansol.” Chan steps in angrily, face to face with Minghao. 

“What the fuck are you insinuating?!”  Minghao stands up, ready to throw punches, Hansol and Hoshi come in between the two trying to stop the fight.  Seungcheol turns around with a heavy stare, turning them silent. 

“YES, we are going to stay here. Unless you forgot your crayons at the  kindergarten .”

The boys don’t dare to say another word, going back to their places at the bench.  Minghao is slowly turning red with teary eyes, trying to contain his laughter, Chan only looks at him threatening. Hoshi comes closer to  Seungcheol , who’s still doing the thorough monitoring of the courtyard. 

“Are you still looking for him?” 

“Yeah...” He leans against the wall, looking down at his feet. “That’s pretty lame, isn’t?” 

“No, not at all. I thought you didn't want to be with anyone at the moment?”

“I thought too, believe me.” He shifts his attention to the blond boy besides him, undesirable thoughts starting to come in again. “Do you think I scared him away?” 

“Why don’t you go out there and find out?” 

Seungcheol’s eyes sparkle upon seeing the long-haired boy come into the courtyard with a tray of food in his hands. He sits alone in one of the tables, looking around as if waiting for someone.  Seungcheol waits no longer, leaving the boys behind as he makes his way to him.  Jeonghan soon notices the other approaching and quickly straightens his posture. 

“Found you.” He smirks as he takes a seat in front of him. 

“Why do you always come when I’m trying to eat?” 

“It’s not my fault you seem to disappear during the other times of the day.”

“Fair enough.” He shrugs, taking a bite of his sandwich.  Seungcheol doesn’t take his eyes off him, silently watching. “I'm not gonna give you a bite this time, go buy your own.”

“Oh c’mon, I know I look like a bully but I didn’t come here to take your lunch.”  Jeonghan raises an eyebrow, mouth still full. “I want to apologize, for yesterday. I was quite intrusive and it wasn’t my intention, really, I just... I  kinda forget how to behave sometimes.” 

“Oh my!”  Jeonghan laughs while covering his mouth. “That was so sweet of you, but not really needed. It’s okay. I also don’t know how to act sometimes, even more so since I moved here.” 

“You just transfer, right? Were you from another town?”

“Nah, I have some friends that study here so I came after those idiots.” He sits back crossing his arms. “Let’s just say I didn't have much freedom  before; I’m starting my life just now. It’s a lot of first times.”

“I can help teaching you some things.”  Seungcheol says with a flirty smile. 

“What the fuck  Seungcheol !”  Jeonghan hits him in the shoulder and slowly slips under the table with both hands covering his face.  Seungcheol’s laughter is interrupted at the moment two  boys approach them, they seem freeze, with eyes wide open. 

“I think you have company” He says, making  Jeonghan turn red in embarrassment. “Look, I hope we can keep on seeing each other. Let’s meet again another day.” 

Seungcheol throws a wink at him, getting up from the table and walking away calmly with both hands in his pockets.  Jeonghan is left dumbfounded, yet again. The black-haired boy is making moves towards his heart so fast it scares him. But he has to admit, it’s a one of a kind feeling. He has never felt like this before. Jun and Joshua quickly jump on the table, their food almost flaying away from the trays. 

“What. Was. That?” Exclaims Jun, not being able to keep his mouth closed.

“I believe you two owe me an explanation first, where have you been?”

“It doesn’t matter!” Says Joshua. “What does matter is why in the world were you talking to him?!”

“Jealous already?” He teases, having way too much fun with  their reaction. 

“Are you fucking serious right now? That is exactly the type of guy we didn’t want you talking to.” Continues Jun. “That guy is a mess, nothing good ever happens when he is around.” 

Jeonghan tries to keep up the light mood, refusing to accept their words. He gives a confused smile, searching in their faces for any sight of a prank. It was one of the boy’s many joys to make fun of him, taking advantaged of their age difference and his naive way of thinking when younger. Now it doesn’t happen that often anymore, guess you could say he did learn some things during all those years, but still their playfulness never really died. 

“You’re joking, right?” 

“Fuck  Jeonghan , how can you not see it? He’s in a gang, he’s the leader. The other gangs  ain’t shit compared to them.” Jun talks quickly, his voice trembling slightly. 

“I can’t see why you’re so scared of him. Like any other gang, just get out of their way that nothing will happen, it’s simple like that.” 

“Listen here.” Joshua gets closer, voice getting lower. “They are not like the others. Those boys pull up a fight for fun, they don’t care if you are new, if you’re older than them, if you have a high status, or whatever. They will hunt you down.” 

“Even the principal won’t stop them. They say  Seungcheol is involved in some pretty shady business.” 

“I can’t believe it...”  Jeonghan whispers. “You two just lost your goddamn minds.”

He breaks into a laughter while the other boys watch incredulously. He wipes away his tears while catching his breath.

“ Seungcheol is a nice guy. You're blowing this out of proportion.” Joshua crosses his arms with an annoyed look on his face. 

“You think that just because he was nice to you that now he can do no bad! We’re talking here about the same guy that pays for prostitutes just to beat them up, the one that goes missing for a week and comes back with a new scar in his body, the same one that goes out of his way to humiliate someone in front of the whole school just for looking at him in a weird way!” He slams both hands on the table, breathing heavily. “He is the one that trapped us in the locker room during a whole night, creating a rumor that we were filming some nasty videos. He almost got us expelled!”

Jeonghan is taken aback, standing in silence as he watches Jun comfort Joshua. He looks down at his half-eaten lunch, suddenly losing appetite. Jun looks at him seriously. 

“If he wants to, he can make a mess out of you. And I  thought you had matured enough to see that.” 

The two boys stand up and leave him by himself. As the minutes pass by the other students start leaving for classes, and he stands still, letting the wind fill his mind. It’s starting to get cold again as winter approaches, making him notice for the first time how thin the school uniform actually is. The bell rings, he stands up and goes back inside, finding the corridors almost empty. 

There’s no one he recognizes in his class, he sits in the back close by the window, wishing that in that way the teacher wouldn’t bother him. As the hours goes on nothing much happens. He stays the whole afternoon looking outside, unable to pay attention. Not once a single familiar face comes by, not even when he goes to the restroom, or even by the school gates when class is over. He keeps going, moving further and further away, stopping as he gets to the bus stop. 

It’s getting darker very quickly, the city lights turns on, besides them there is only a bit of sunshine left at the horizon. Stars begin to show up, greeting the moon. He takes his old jacket out of the backpack, cursing himself for not bringing a warmer coat. It doesn’t take too long for the bus to arrive. He takes his usual seat by the window, secretly wishing that this day no one will sit by his side.

He makes himself comfortable, takes a deep breath, leaving steam at the window. He draws a smiley face on it, watching as it melts away, drops of water falling from it's eyes as if crying. When looking back he sees his own face at the reflection. 

He feels bad, wishing that their conversation would have gone to a different direction. The more he thinks about it the more it weights in his chest. It’s just rumors, he supposes, how can someone know so much about somebody else’s life? 

He hates this kind of situations, now he is supposed to choose in what to believe? In his close friends or in a strange guy he just met? Seems too made up to be true, how can he be so unlucky with people? Or one is a liar or is a psycho, how wonderful. 

He had a mother once; he was never able find anyone as kind as her. She was the one who suggested growing out his hair, she loved to make braids and fill his entire head with pretty accessories. Many  times he would come home crying, and she was always there to brush his tears away. She used to say ‘people will only believe in what they want to believe, but you know the truth’. 

He feels bad for not being able to care enough for what Jun and Joshua  said. Sure, they are his best friends, and sure, they suffered a lot, but besides them who is there to tell that story? How can he be sure of what’s the truth and what’s not? The only thing he knows for certain is how much a lie can hurt, how it can destroy someone’s life and leave deep marks. Rumors are like parasites, they get stuck on you, sucking all your life, till the point where no one recognizes you anymore.

He has promised himself to never believe in anything without proof.  Seungcheol may be a bad person, ‘such a monster’ as they would say, or he could be someone like him, whose name has been thrown to the dirt. He wishes it would be like that, wouldn’t that be too naive to think? If only his heart would be smart for once and just let go more easily. 

***

_The sixteen years old boy wonders through the orphanage corridor’s, trying to escape the blue shadows catching up to him. He passes by the windows, noticing how the golden light illuminates the place creating an eerie atmosphere. As he goes to take a look at the sunset he notices his reflection on the glass. The blood that was dripping from his nose is now getting to his shirt. He tries to clean it messily, remembering the pain of the punch he just received._

_“Nobody wants him, they are too freaked out by those stories. The last couple who adopted him out of pity took less than a month to want to return him.”_

_He hears faint talking coming from a room close by, he gets closer out of curiosity._

_“You know it's all a lie, you saw the standards of living of those people, of course they would put all the blame on the boy.”_

_“We know, but the families don't. They really believe in these rumors.”_

_“I don't know what else to do, with that age I don't even know if it's still worth trying.”_

_He observes their discussion silently by the crack on the door. Of course they would be talking about him, always the problematic kid. He tried so hard to fit in, to be a good boy, but even with the help of his friends the lies never stopped. Now that they’re gone there’s no one else to defend him from the older kids, no one else to stand by his side. It just feels so lonely._

_“I don’t want a family anymore.” He says when entering the room. “Sorry for listening to the conversation, but I do not want it anymore, you can stop trying.”_

_“Why now so sudently?”_

_“I want to change schools; I want to go with Jun and Joshua.”_

_“You know this is not possible. They are of legal age, you still can't.”_

_“But it won’t take long. Let me prove that I am capable.”_

***

The bus stops and he  gets out, facing the cold air for a few more blocks till he arrives at the apartment. He tiredly climbs the stairs to the fifth floor, the same defective lamp greeting him when he arrives. He searches for his door through the bad illumined place. Then he stops, room 11. His keys fall to the ground, but he makes no move to reach for it, still stuck at the sight of a small written massage on his door. 

“Welcome back”


	3. Too bad, but it's too sweet

Jeonghan gets off the bus, running down the street to get to school in time. As he arrives his mission gets harder, dodging everyone that comes in the way, almost falling as he finally gets to the cafeteria. He stands in the entrance, catching his breath as he looks for someone. Their eyes meet, the other turning away as fast as they can. 

Joshua stands up from his table dragging Jun with him and tries to hide himself in the line for lunch.  Jeonghan takes a deep breath, straightens his oversized cardigan and makes his way to the boys. He grabs one of the trays and stands behind them. 

“I need to talk to you” he whispers. 

“Now you want to talk? Could have said something yesterday.” Says Jun angrily. 

“It’s really important. I think someone is stalking me.”

“What?” Joshua comes in between them, eyes wide open. “What do you mean stalking?”

“There was a note in my door and when I went to the bedroom one of my pillows was gone!”

“That is weirdly specific. Are you sure you didn’t put it somewhere else yourself?” 

“Yes! How could I lose something that size, doesn’t make any  sense? ” 

They start moving again, getting their plates and filling it with food. Joshua keeps his eyes on Jeonghan, stopping suddenly right before they reach the end. 

“You think you’re really funny, don’t you?” He says harshly. 

“No, it’s serious!”

“So were we. But you choose to ignore us.” 

His stare is piercing cold, making  Jeonghan feel smaller again. 

“Look, I'm sorry but-”

“But what? You don’t care. It doesn’t matter what we say, you won’t change your mind.” 

The two boys go back to their places,  Jeonghan follows them, standing by their side as they take a seat. He holds his tray tightly, staring at it while trying to escape their judging expressions. 

“Come back when you throw  Seungcheol away.” 

“There is nothing going on between us, he was just  being nice.” 

“There is no ‘being nice’ with him.” Jun cuts his food annoyed, refusing to look up. “That boy doesn’t have a heart, he is just very good with words.” 

“You saw it.” Joshua adds. “You saw what he did to that boy, and still you refuse to acknowledged all of that? Are you dumb or what?” 

Jeonghan drops the tray on the table, making a loud noise. He continues to look down while clenching his fist. 

“It’s all I am, isn’t?” He looks up at them, trying to contain the emotions that seem to overflow. “I am always dumb, and weak, and just outright stupid.” Joshua stands up, reaching for his hand. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it!”

“Cut it off!” He moves away, anger starting to take control. “I’m an attention seeker when I follow what you say, I’m dumb when I try to make my own decisions?” 

“I’m sure Shua just wanted to help, he just expressed himself wrong.”

“Oh no, he’s right. I am really dumb for trying to see good in others.” He grabs the tray harshly. “You guys helped me a lot today, thank you for opening my eyes! Now, if you excuse me, I have to tell  Seungcheol what a piece of trash he is.” 

Jeonghan stomps out of the cafeteria as quickly as possible, not daring to turn around, already knowing the pain it would bring just to look at them. He couldn’t care less about making a scene, if his words got through it’s all that matters. 

~~~~

After many hours of walking aimlessly he’s able to find a place to stay. He threw away his lunch right after he left the cafeteria. He got angrier than he would like to admit, costing him food, what a disaster. Not even when trying to make a point he can get it right, now his whole body curses at him. 

Jeonghan is almost certain he went through every single space the school could offer, going from the sports court to the hidden rooms in the second floor. And even so, he couldn’t calm himself down. He had already decided on skipping class, there was nothing stopping him from running away altogether. Jumping the fence wasn’t as hard as everyone would say, what are a few wounds anyway? 

And now, sitting at a bench in the park in front of the school, his mind finally starts thinking again. He has come to the conclusion that maybe Joshua was right, ever since he  left he has not been able to make a god decision. It’s a very peaceful place, no sounds but the singing of the birds, no people besides him. Even the fountain in front of him seems so quiet, letting him breath for once. It would all be perfect if he wasn’t so hungry or hurt from the fall. 

“Seat taken?” A familiar voice calls. As he looks up  Seungcheol is standing close by with both hands in his pockets, he has a calm smile in his face.  Jeonghan stays silent, looking back at the fountain while  Seungcheol sits by his side. 

“Shouldn’t you be at class?” He continues. 

“I could ask you the same.” 

Seungcheol sits back, his attention directed to the other boy. Even with the cold expression he can’t help it to find him quite charming. 

“I don’t go there for a long time. I just stick around for the boys, they’re quite the troublemakers.” He laughs at the thought. “Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” 

“I don’t know, your hands seem to be  bleeding kinda a lot.” 

Jeonghan looks down at the skinned palms and knuckles, he was planning on just ignoring it but the burning sensation was way stronger than he had in mind. He closes the hands, hiding them in between his legs. 

“I had a small fight early  on; I just needed some time alone.” 

“Do you want me to go?” He asks worried. 

“You can stay if you want to.”

How could he even send him away? Just his presence already feels like medicine. They barely know each other but he already feels more  comfortable around him than with any other friend he has ever had. 

“Can I ask you with who were you fighting? Was it  those two guys ?” 

“Could it be more obvious?” He sighs deeply. “It’s not like I have anyone else to fight with.” 

“Was it serious?” 

Jeonghan looks at him, analyzing his face carefully. He hasn’t decided yet what to believe, he knew Jun and Joshua were quick to lie to him when they wanted something, and  Seungcheol didn’t look all that good eighter, that he knew from the start. But in some strange way it only made him even more interesting, what secrets could he be hiding? 

“They don’t want me to talk to you.”  Seungcheol shifts his gaze, staring at his own hands. 

“Of course.” He smiles. 

“They told me some things about you, things that you’ve done.” 

“Do you believe them?” 

“I wish I could say no, but you made quite a first impression.”  Seungcheol bites his lower lip, moving his head side to side as if trying to shake off a thought. 

“But I don’t care.”  Jeonghan adds. “What you did or didn’t do doesn’t really matter, I just like being with you.” He reaches out for his hand, holding it tightly.  Seungcheol relaxes with his touch, moving in closer. 

“I don’t want you to think badly of me. I did make some things I’m not proud of, but I changed.” He whispers.

“I know how it feels when nobody believes you anymore, that’s why I don’t want you to think that I’m afraid of you. You can count on me, and I’m sure I can count on you too.” 

Seungcheol plays with his hands, cleaning a bit of the blood and dirt with his shirt. He looks up determined. 

“I can prove to you. I can show you that I’m not as bad as they say.”

“You don’t need to.” He says gently. 

“You should come with me and the boys to the pier. We will be going today by dawn.” 

“Today?!”  Seungcheol stands up, pushing  Jeonghan with him. “Isn’t a bit too soon?” 

“You have all afternoon to get ready if you need to, you just can’t miss it. I will make sure you will have the time of your life!” 

“Are you sure?” He stays reluctant.  Seungcheol stops in his tracks, getting closer to him. 

“Be ready by three.” He gives him a peck on the cheek, letting go of his hand and running away with a big smile on his face. Jeonghan touches the place, laughing at his own silly heart. 

~~~~

It’s cold. 

It’s the only thing that comes to his mind. Who cares about possible strangers lurking in the dark? Or even worries about the weirdness of this whole encounter? It’s just too fucking cold. Okay, maybe the last one does cross his mind from time to time, he could admit that yes, he’s  hella scared off what could even happen tonight. But it’s such a thrill, it’s much more than running away from the teachers or sneaking in hair dye. 

He walks in circles in an attempt to keep himself warm, blowing his hands from time to time. He looks down at his clothes, always too big, too old, too ugly. His mind starts to wonder back to a dark place, knees getting weak again. Maybe he should turn back and act as if nothing happened. Who would even want to hang out with someone like him? He’s no fun. 

A dim light catches the corner of his eye, getting brighter as it comes closer. An old pickup truck stops right in front of him, there’s two guys sitting in the front and three more at the back. As he takes a better look, he starts to recognize their faces. They look him up and down, whispering to one another playfully. 

The driver gets out of the car and waves at him. Even at this dark hour he can make out the curves of  Seungcheol’s smile, it never fails to make him fell at home. He goes around the car and stops a couple feet away from Jeonghan. Seungcheol gets lost looking at him, freezing in place. The boy sitting at the front stretches' out for Seungcheol and gives him a hard smack at the back. 

“Go get him  hyung !” The other boys lose it, laughing their asses off.  Seungcheol turns into a deep shade of red, biting his tongue while trying to maintain his cool. 

“I’m so sorry.” He takes a deep breath. “For making you wait for this long... So, ready?” 

Jeonghan tucks a strand of hair behind his ear, smiling shyly as he follows  Seungcheol back to the truck. 

“Somebody else insisted on going at the front with me, is it okay to stay here with them?”

“Yeah, it’s cool, no problem.” He jumps inside, sitting by the corner. 

“It may be a chilly trip, so...” He gets and old wool blanket and wraps it around  Jeonghan . “I hope this will do.” 

Jeonghan hide his face in the blanket when felling his cheeks heat up again. The blanket smells just like  Seungcheol , like a warm cup of coffee in a rainy day.  Seungcheol goes back to his seat, but just before he could start the car the blond boy knocks on the rear window. 

“Are you really going to leave us like that? No blanket at all?” He shouts angrily. 

“Yall have each other!” He laughs. “Make your own human blanket.” The boy at the front seat laughs shamelessly at them, his laugh echoing through the streets as they start moving. 

They wonder through the silent streets, building up speed as they enter the freeway. The wind quickly becomes a problem for the ones at the back, turning their hair into a mess and giving  Jeonghan a pinky nose. 

“Sooo...” The blond boy comes closer to him. “Are you two like, a thing now?”

“What? No! We’re just friends... I think?” 

“Let me tell you, he won’t shut up about you, it’s been a while since he’s been this happy!” 

“Really?” 

“If I were  you I would go for it.” 

Jeonghan sits back, starring at the other’s eager expression. He takes a  peak inside the car, watching as  Seungcheol hums happily to a song on the radio. 

“Do you really think so?” 

“He really needs someone by his side, and not just anyone. He likes you a lot.” 

Jeonghan looks away, tucking himself deep in the blanket. He fells funny inside, as people would say, with butterflies on the stomach, for as cliché as it sounds. 

“Oh! I just remembered! We haven't introduced ourselves yet!” The boy jumps excitedly. “I’m  Soonyoung , but they call me Hoshi. These are Hansol and Minghao, and the one in the front is Chan, our  maknae !” 

“Nice to meet you!” He laughs while they shake hands. “I’m  Jeonghan , but you  probably already know that.” 

“Hey! You punks!!” Chan screams with his entire upper body out of the window. “Come closer if you’re brave enough!” 

Everyone turns to see a group of bikers just in front of them, all wearing leather jackets. Hoshi quickly stands up, shouting at the top of his lungs. 

“YO PUSSY! Did your mama buy that jacket for you?!”

They slow down to get by their side, the leader staring at them seriously. Minghao begins to throw kisses at them, with only Hansol silently laughing at the corner. The biker points at them and then runs a finger in a straight line across his neck. 

“Shit.” Hoshi says as he backs down. Chan hits the car with fear  catching up to him. 

“Go Hyung! GO!” 

Seungcheol sinks his foot on the accelerator, making everyone fall back. The bikers quickly get left behind, as they don’t really seem to have interest in a chase. The boys scream back at them, watching as they  disappear in the horizon. 

It doesn’t take longer for them to arrive at the destination, it’s a dark place, completely empty. The boys get out of the car taking with them boxes of what  Jeonghan could only assume are some drinks. They run in the front but  Seungcheol stays by his side, accompanying him while they follow the others. 

“Why do you live like this?”  Jeonghan asks intrigued. 

“Like what?” 

“Making all this mystery about everything!”  Seungcheol laughs. “Like, you could’ve had just told me where you were taking me in the first place!” 

“But then I wouldn’t get to see the look in your face when you find out.” 

“Does this look good to you?”  Jeonghan steps in front of him pointing to his face, Seungcheol watches him adoringly. 

“Guess you didn’t like it.” 

“Just be a bit  more straight forward .” 

Jeonghan walks in front of him, leaving  Seungcheol behind with his own thoughts. He takes a deep breath and runs to him, catching him up in no time. He takes his hand, making him stop in his tracks.  Seungcheol takes a step closer, interlacing their fingers. He looks up right into his eyes, making  Jeonghan’s heart beat faster than normal. 

“Are you guys going or-OH. Shit. Did I interrupt something?” Hoshi comes in holding two beers, immediately regretting his decision.  Jeonghan looks away, letting out his breath.  Seungcheol moves away, but doesn’t let go of his hand, instead pulling  Jeonghan with him towards Hoshi and the other boys. 

Just as they turn around the corner, the view presents itself.  Jeonghan’s eyes sparkle as he stays freeze in a complete loss of words. There’s no light but the moon, shining in the clear sky and in the reflection on the river. They are in an open area close by an abandoned factory. There’s lots of broken boats floating around, and some are still tied to the pier. 

“How do you like it now?”  Seungcheol teases. 

“H-How.” He looks back at him. “How did you find this place?” 

“Our dad used to work here, but it was closed a couple of years ago. It’s seems like everyone forgot about it.” Chan says while piling up some wood and pieces of paper, Hansol stays by his side and lights up their little campfire. 

“Now it’s the best place for a private view of the river.”  Seungcheol adds. 

They all sit around the campfire, sharing some snacks and drinks. As they start to get hyped up Chan starts dancing, letting to Hoshi turn on the radio in the car on full volume. Soon enough a whole dancing competition begins with Hansol freestyling some lyrics.  Jeonghan simply watches their fun, and even so his heart starts racing again from time to time when his eyes catches Seungcheol’s. His mind keeps on going back to Hoshi’s words, it only gets worst when thinking about his little moment with  Seungcheol . 

He tries shaking off the thought, letting the beer burn his throat and take everything with it. The boys dance around him, screaming off to the lyrics of an old grunge song, reminding him of when things used to be easier. He remembers it so clearly, being so little and so full of energy, dancing around the house with the older woman to those same guitar chords. Only when she was so drunk, she wouldn't really care about his presence. 

He fells a light tap on his shoulder, looking up to see  Seungcheol offering a hand to him. He helps him up, and silently guides him away from the others. They walk slowly through the pier, watching as the boats move gently with the water. 

“I  kinda get why you wanted to make a surprise. But I can’t think of any reason why in this specific hour.” 

“Don’t you think it’s beautiful? The stars?”  Jeonghan looks up, admiring the endless shining dots of the night. “It’s in the darkest hour that they shine the  brightest .” 

As they reach the end  Seungcheol sits by the edge with  Jeonghan following him soon after. 

“Have you ever thought about flying?” He asks without never taking his attention off the sky. “To be so high, so free... You could go anywhere, do whatever you want, the sky has no limits, no  boundaries . You could even reach the stars.” 

When looking at his eyes  Jeonghan can see the reflection of the sky so clearly, they are full of so many emotions, looking up as if in love with the moon. But  Jeonghan looks down, at the open space between him and the river. And even if the wind feels so good around his feet, he would rather have a ground to hold on to. 

“If you go that far how would you come back?” 

“Why would I want to come back?” 

“Ah, I don’t know.” 

Jeonghan looks back at his hands, playing with his fingers. He bites his lips in frustration. Suddenly he feels a hand under his chin, pulling his face up. 15 cm. Just 15 cm away, it’s all it took to turn his world upside down. 

“If I had  you I would have a reason to stay.” 

And it happens. It just happens, as if everything was so easy. Just close your eyes and lean in, and suddenly the world makes sense, at the same time reality ceases do exist. Just the touch. Just the small explosions inside, and the gentleness of a new sensation. The kiss is everything he ever thought it would be, not perfect in any way, a bit messy, but still so full of love. 

It doesn’t last long though, even with his silent prayers to last forever, and just as naturally it had begun, so it ends. This time there’s only  Jeonghan in  Seungcheol’s eyes.

“Then stay.” He whispers softly. “I will be your moon and stars.”  Seungcheol smiles, pressing their foreheads  together . 

Screams coming from afar break the silence, completely ruining the mood. As they turn back there is little time to react, as a bunch of young, drunk boys quickly make their way towards them, getting rid of every single piece of clothing. 

They catch speed and just before reaching  Seungcheol and  Jeonghan they jump, going straight in to the cold water. Now their screams don’t seem as happy, but just as chaotic, playing with one another and just enjoying the night. 

Seungcheol reaches out for  Jeonghan’s hand, he takes the invitation right away and comes closer, resting his head at his shoulder. Just as everything should be. A bit messy, but still full of love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I created a twitter account where I will be posting updates about the story, if you want to follow me it's @pistacheabacate (◕‿◕✿)


	4. Instant crush

“That’s exactly what I told him, but you know how he is, he never listens!” 

“I don’t know, maybe he’s right. Your parents would be very upset if they found out.” 

“They would be proud of me! I can take a man down with just these two babies.” Chan kisses his own arms, rolling up the  sleeves of the uniform to show off his muscles. 

“Sure” Minghao laughs, putting the rest of the books in his backpack and closing the locker. 

“Don’t you laugh at me too! Hyung! Tell him how strong I am!”

Seungcheol looks at Chan’s pitiful face, and then back at Minghao’s playful eyes. 

“You’re cute.” 

“I can’t believe it! Hansol is brainwashing all of you!” Chan whines, resting his back against the rusted lockers. Seungcheol stands up, looking around the corridor. “I’m getting tired of this, are you done?” 

“Yes.” Minghao says bluntly. “Should I leave a note to the owner?” 

“I think they will be happier not knowing that it was us who took it all.”  Seungcheol says. “Be quicker, we still need to burn them before class starts.” 

“Wouldn’t we be selling them?” 

“Whatever. They don’t deserve these fancy materials anyways.” 

Seungcheol doesn’t wait anymore, he just goes on in between the other students in the corridor. Everyone makes space for him and the other boys. Sometimes Minghao finds it unnecessary, wishing that he could just blend in. Chan, on the other hand, likes the attention, admiring how their leader does it so effortlessly. 

Seungcheol does not wait anymore, for a long time now. He once did, wait for people to notice him, wait for things to get better. He likes to take matters into his own hands, he’s proud of his good work. Never letting things unfinished. The others are just a bonus, their fear just means he’s still on top. 

He crosses the corridor, going silently behind one of the open lockers. The only thing he can see is the bandaged hand holding the door. Even the crooked little fingers had their own charm. He puts his hand over the other’s, startling  Jeonghan . He retreats, slowly taking a look behind the door. 

“Peak-a-boo.”  Jeonghan looks at him with wide eyes, taking a few more seconds than usual to come back to earth. And when he does, it’s not so pretty anymore. 

“Stop that!” He hits  Seungcheol in the chest, the other laughing shamelessly. “I don’t like it when you do that.” 

“I thought you wouldn’t fall for it anymore.” 

“Well, if there’s one thing life taught me is that you should always be skeptical about your surroundings.” 

“And even so you didn’t notice me coming?” 

“Shut up.”  Jeonghan pouts, closing his locker. He moves on, making his way to class. Seungcheol rushes after him, keeping the pace. 

“What’s wrong? You're usually a bit more  cheerful ...” 

“Well, unlike you I still have classes to attend and tests to take. It’s pretty distracting with you following me all around.” 

“Oh really?”  Seungcheol grins, getting closer to him.  Jeonghan stops, starring at him seriously. 

“You’re a pain in the ass sometimes, did you know?” 

“Is that all that bad?” He holds him by the waist,  Jeonghan can fell his breathing against his cheek already. When looking up his shoulder, he catches the eyes of the other boys, that soon turn away in embarrassment. 

“It’s too much.” 

Seungcheol backs away, having a hard time reading the other’s face. His hands move from his waist to his hands, holding them gently. He looks down, shrinking his shoulders. 

“You don’t want to see me anymore?” 

Jeonghan looks around again, analyzing every stare directed at them. It’s been a couple of days since he noticed it. The other students look at him differently, whispering with one another words he would never want to hear. He knows he’s the latest hot topic. And it’s not just the stares, people would get scared of him too. Getting out of his way, pretending no to hear his questions about the next exam, taking all the tables in the cafeteria so there’s none left for him. It fells just like before. Except now he isn’t the reason for mockery, now there’s only fear. 

“They’re staring again.” 

Seungcheol looks up, eyes moving around to each and every person. He looks back at Jeonghan, taking his hand and giving it a kiss. 

“Forget them. You’re with me now.” 

“It’s easy to say.” 

“C’mon.”  Seungcheol smiles, pulling  Jeonghan towards the other way. “Let me get you out of here then.” 

“I have classes to attend...”  Jeonghan whines. 

“And I know you hate it. I’m giving you an opportunity, why are you so reluctant?”  Seungcheol stares in to his eyes, holding his hands gently. “I thought you were smart enough to learn these boring things by yourself.” 

Jeonghan looks down and takes a deep breath, thinking thoroughly. “Yeah, you’re right.” He laughs it off, opening a smile on his face. “I just thought you were busy with other  things; I don’t want to bother.” 

“My Hannie, everything comes second when it comes to you.”  Seungcheol gives him a peck at the cheek, looking at him adoringly. “The boys will handle it well. Isn’t that right?” He says the last part a bit louder, catching the attention of Chan and Minghao. They quickly turn away, off to their duties. 

Seungcheol interlocks his hand with Jeonghan’s, pulling him to the school’s backyard just before classes start. Behind the school building there’s an open area with the sports field and some resting places surrounded by trees. Even though it’s one of the best places to hang out, little to no one come around anymore, well, not since the bug infestation that happened years ago. 

They choose a spot close by the fence, where a single concrete bench stays unused.  Jeonghan sits down, looking at the life outside.  Seungcheol hugs him from behind, leaving a few kisses at his nape. 

“ Seungcheol , why did you call me ‘my  hannie ’ before?” 

“You didn’t like it?” 

“I just thought it was  kinda funny.” He turns around to face the other. 

“Funny? It’s cute, just like you.” Seungcheol burrows his face in Jeonghan’s neck, leaving small kisses all over the place. “If I’m yours, then you got to be mine too.” 

“Then what do you want to call me?” 

“Oh well, I could call you my dear, my honey, my teddy bear... my Cheolie?” 

Seungcheol stands up, leaning in to give him a soft kiss. “You could call me boyfriend.” 

Jeonghan giggles, face turning red once again. “Already?” 

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I am inexplicably...” He gives him a kiss on the forehead. “Wholeheartedly...” One on the eye. “Desperately...” One on the nose. “Completely...” One on the cheek. “...Head over heels for you.” He finishes it off with a kiss on the lips, drowning himself on the blond boy.

Jeonghan lets himself get consumed by the felling, allowing  Seungcheol to get closer until he feels the other’s body against his. He breaks off the kiss, searching for air.  Seungcheol smiles at him, leaving one last peck. 

“You have no idea how much you’re driving me crazy.”  Jeonghan whispers, his mouth still searching for the other’s. “You affect me in so many ways, it’s insane.” 

“Good to know we’re on the same page.”  Seungcheol chuckles. “Cause’ there’s no other thing in this world that I would want more than to call you mine.” 

“But before anything, we really need to get some things straight. I need to stop missing so many classes, I can’t just leave anytime you want.” 

“You need to stop worrying so much. I’m  gonna make lots of money, you won’t even need to think about studying and working.” Jeonghan laughs. 

“And how are you going to do that?”  Seungcheol ties his arms around the boy’s waist, opening a smirk on his face. 

“You’ll have to wait and see.  But, what I can tell you is that it’s  gonna be big. We’re  gonna have so much we’ll have to start giving it away.” 

“So you’re planning on being a Robin Hood of sorts?” 

“Yes, and you are going to be my Marian.” 

Their little moment gets interrupted as a very anxious Minghao shows up in the horizon, waving both arms frenetically. Seungcheol turns around with a serious expression on his face. 

“Hansol just called.” Minghao screams from afar. “It’s an emergency.” 

Seungcheol’s mood takes a drastic turn, now seeming very displeased. His eyes come back to  Jeonghan , and for a split second he could swear he just turned into a different person. The cold stare soon fades into a softer one, quite forced still. 

“I’ll have to leave for a few minutes. Can you wait just for a bit?” He shows a cocky smile,  Jeonghan just nods, lips forming a thin line.  Seungcheol gives him one last kiss on the check, moving away slowly, as if not wanting to let go. 

Jeonghan watches as he and Minghao talk secretly, rushing inside the school building right after. Now he’s alone again, just he and the world around him. He gets up, deciding to move his legs a bit. 

He walks to the center of the field, standing right in the middle of everything. He feels small. Before, with  Seungcheol , he wouldn’t even notice all the things around them. He couldn’t see the gray sky, the dead patches of the grass, or the annoying buzz from the cars outside. With him everything just seems more colorful. No, with him there’s no world, just the two of them, frozen in time. 

He looks up and takes a deep breath, closing his eyes right after. His heart beats fast again when thinking about the other. These days it’s all about him.  Seungcheol Seungcheol Seungcheol. How wonderful it is to forget about your own self. He could live in that moment forever. 

He hears light footsteps approaching, turning around right away. He takes a good look at the lanky figure in front of him, his interest dying at the same instant. 

“Joshua is not here.” He says bluntly, turning back around. 

“I know, he’s not the one I’m after.” Jun comes closer, standing by his side with both hands in his pockets. 

“What do you want.” 

“Talk to a friend, it’s been a while since we’ve done that.” 

“Oh well, you’re the one keeping it that way.”  Jeonghan says annoyed. 

“Not quite, I just follow what Joshua says. He’s very upset with you.” 

“And you’re not angry at me too?” 

“I missed you.” Jun looks at Jeonghan, trying to catch any glimpse of a change in his closed expression. 

“As you can see, I’m doing great by myself.” He crosses his arms, avoiding any eye contact. 

“By  Seungcheol’s side.” He coughs. “I bet it must be quite an experience, but you know it won’t last.” 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Just think about it, you’re so deep in to all of this, and you two just meet not long ago. What’s going to happen when you fall down?” Jun takes a deep breath. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.” 

Jeonghan looks down, his jaw clenched. His eyes turn back at Jun. 

“Go back to Joshua, you don’t need me around.” 

“We want you back. I do. More than anything. You can’t just let it stay like this because of a few misunderstandings.” 

“But it’s not just that. It’s suffocating. It takes everything from me, and so little from you. It’s not fair.” 

“Please  Jeonghan .” Jun grabs his hand in a pleading manner. “I just want to make you happy. If you let us in, we could show you a whole new world, a world with no pain, no anguish. Just say yes, please.” 

Jeonghan stares at his hands with a slight frown. Jun’s face is almost convincing. What bothers him the most is those puppy  eyes, he knows that’s as sincere as it can get. Jun always was the most playful one, and Joshua the one who makes the rules. Even though Jun’s intentions seemed to get lost within his actions, his heart would always speak louder. 

“You need to go away.”  Jeonghan takes back his hand. “I want to put the past behind me, you can’t stay anymore.” 

“Look, I know it’s hard. You know damn well how much it hurts me too. And that’s why we need to stick together. You and Joshua are the only things I have left, please don’t do this to me.” 

“You don’t understand. For once I have a chance, I can finally choose what path to take, and I want to make it right. I don’t want to stay as the one who was left behind.” 

“Oh, right.” Jun smiles painfully, hands resting at the back of his head. “NOW you have a chance?” He opens his arms as if demanding an explanation, a laugh escapes his mouth. “What about all those families fighting for your custody? What about the social workers who were just a little too kind, or the other kids who would follow you all day? What about people like me who were never even chosen in the first place?”

Jun takes a few steps back, eyes wondering around the field. He gives his back to  Jeonghan , heart aching with every breath. 

“When you came  back I was so happy that you chose us, for the first time I thought things would get better. Then you go playing around with fire, clamming that you want to be free. Free from what?! From the only people who always stood by your side?”

Jeonghan looks down at his hands, he notices how pale they are,  trembling ever so  slightly . 

“I wish I could keep you with me, but we both know it’s not easy like that. You know it won’t work out; it wasn’t working for a while now. You demand so much from me that I just can’t give.” 

“But you can to someone like him.”

“It’s not like that.” 

“ Yes it is , it’s us versus  Seungcheol .” Jun turns around, his face hardened with sorrow. “You already decided, that is very clear. I don’t think you should be talking to me anymore.” He looks up, eyes directed to the school building.  Jeonghan turns around, catching  Seungcheol staring at them from the distant. 

“Now be good and go back to him, you don’t  wanna get in trouble.” 

Jun walks off with a slow pace, heart heavy with unsaid words. Jeonghan closes his eyes while taking a deep breath, a sour taste sits on his tongue. He drags himself across the field, reaching  Seungcheol in complete silence. The other’s stare is judgmental, looming over him in disappointment.  Seungcheol takes his hand, guiding him inside the building while his eyes are too heavy to look up. 

As they get to the entrance hall, he notices a pair of well-polished shoes. His head jolts up, startled as his eyes meet with the principal’s heavy gaze. 

“Are you done now?” His voice is harsh, flat enough just to maintain his composure. “Get all this mess out  of my school before anyone else sees it.” 

Seungcheol nods seriously, Minghao comes in their direction, grabbing him by the arm. 

“Take him home.” 

“Wait, wait! What’s going on?” 

His words get cut off the moment his eyes land on the other side of the hallway. Hoshi is sprawled on the floor, head resting at Chan’s leg. His face is completely beaten up, clothes dirty with dried blood. Hansol is resting close by, his back against the cold wall. One of his eyes is completely swollen and his nose looks weirdly out of place. He ties his hand with a piece of cloth, mouth twitching when touching specific places. 

“Jeonghan, just listen to me.” Seungcheol says firmly. “Minghao will take you home and keep you safe, do not leave until I say so.” 

“I won’t go anywhere until you explain to me what is going on!”

“ Jeonghan -ah...” Minghao calls for him in a small voice. “It’s just another fight, we just want to make sure nothing else happens while we solve this. Just come with me.” 

Minghao grabs his arm gently with a reassuring expression on his face.  Jeonghan fells his  whole body getting tense by the single touch, eyes searching for  Seungcheol in utterly fear. He is once again frozen, mind wondering on all the possibilities and worst scenarios. Once he starts moving  again he doesn’t even feel the ground under his feet, only when the air from outside hits his face that reality knocks in. 

What to do now? 


End file.
